The trouble with Bulmers



I've got a big problem with the Bulmers campaign, and I've decided to rant about it.

Maybe it is because I'm a yank here in England, but I don't get it. Their ads are all about "The English Summer" and cooling down when it gets so hot outside ... This one is called "Our Summer":



Here's the text to 'Our Summer' which was directed by Alistair Cook and Rob Davis and features a voiceover by actor Stephen Tompkinson:

Here's to the great British summer,
Music festivaling,
Mixed mud wrestling,
14 degrees,
Knobbly knees,
Catching the rays,
The big squeeze,
Traffic jams,
Hand held fans,
The hottest day since records began,
yes, we'll complain it's too hot,
we'll moan when there's showers,
but it's glorious, lovable, eccentric, magnificent and ours!

Who the hell is complaining that is is too hot in the UK?

Today, like most days, was awful. It was cold and raining. All day. This is one of the worst summers I've ever seen. The temperature rarely goes above 70 degrees. We've had to use the heat several nights when the temperature dipped into the 40s ... in July! Since April, I'd say we've had 3 good weeks.

WTF is so glorious, lovable, eccentric, and magnificent about that?

Here's another:


"Funny how we wait all year for it to get hot ... Just so as we can cool down again."

Keep waiting folks. Keep waiting.

We went to Cornwall a few weeks ago to see Jack Johnson perform on the coast at Newquay. It is one of the UK's best surf spots. Except, unlike most places where you surf in the Summer, it was freezing. And it poured the entire time. And the high winds forced them to cancel the show.

Glorious, indeed.

Unless you've been brainwashed since birth that 65 degrees is hot , this is a joke and so is their campaign. Actually, I suspect many young impressionable Brits may indeed have been convinced by their parents at a young age that 58 degrees is a warm day. What else would explain the Bermuda-shorts wearing, flip-flop shuffling, t-shirt toting masses you see all over London as soon as you don't have to scrape frost from the windshields?

Seriously, I'm outside wearing a wool sweater having a gluehwein and the guy next to me is in a Speedo drinking Pimms.

Go figure.

On Talking Retail, I found this gem: Graeme Mckenzie, Marketing Manager for Bulmers at Scottish & Newcastle UK, said, “The campaign is built around the proposition that the unpredictable nature of the British summer brings out the resourceful and optimistic side of our character and the new 30-second film captures the uniquely British approach to the unpredictable weather perfectly.

Unpredictable?

It isn't unpredictable. Here's my prediction: It is going to rain. Often. And it will not be hot. The temperature will never ever go over 85 degrees and there will be an 80% chance of rain any given day.

So, the Bulmers web site is ok. At least they make a point of showing some rain clouds. And they're at a few festivals. Ok, and they're sampling all over the place. And, they've invented this thing called POETS day ... Push Off Early, Tomorrow's Saturday. And they've even got a Facebook group.



Ok, and so what if I joined it? That doesn't mean I'm a fan. And just because I was sunbathing in the rain today doesn't mean I like it.

I'm just trying to fit in.